The Here and Now
by Katalius123
Summary: Hoyt/Jessica fluff-ish. Set after 3.10 - Jessica needs to make sure Hoyt understands that a future with her won't be easy...or permanent.


AN: Why are there so few Hoyt/Jessica fics? I'm really curious about that. They seem like such a fan favorite and they're certainly mine. Ah well, here's some fluff to tide you over until the next episode when they "take their relationship to the next level" or so the summary says.

* * *

Jessica paced up and down her gloomy living room deep in thought. Hoyt sat on the couch, quiet and nervous. They were negotiating the terms of their reunion. She had brought Hoyt here to rest and regain his strength after the dog attack, but now that he was back in prime condition he was ready to pick up where they had left off. She, however, was still apprehensive.

"Jess, I don't know what to think. I love you and you love me, I don't care about the rest of it!" he exclaimed, desperate to understand why she was so hesitant to reenter a relationship they knew they both wanted more than anything.

"I _do_ love you, Hoyt," she repeated emphatically, still guilty over her earlier hesitation, "but there's a lot more to this than you realize."

"But that's what I'm trying to tell you! There _ain't_ nothing more to it! Not for me, at least. I know you think you're trying to protect me and all, but damn Jessica I'm a grown man! You of all people should know that!"

"I know, I know! You make your own decisions, I get that, I do. And I understand your decision and I love your decision…but hell, what about me? Don't I get a say in all this?"

"Not if it means we're never gonna be together." Hoyt retorted before immediately shrinking back. He was afraid and hurt that she didn't seem to share his eagerness even if she did share his love. She opened her mouth to answer, but stopped as she began to see just how upset he really was. Jessica moved toward the couch and sat beside him.

"Look at me," she said. Hoyt lifted his head slightly and turned to her, bereft.

"I'm no good, Hoyt," she said, her voice catching unexpectedly. She fought to hold back the emotion in her voice and the threat of tears. "My life is already over… and I love you too much to see you waste yours on me."

It killed her to say the words, but she knew in her heart of hearts it had to be done. Suddenly she understood exactly how Bill felt. But Hoyt was determined. He took her cold hand in his and inched closer to her.

"I get it, okay? It's gonna be hard. And there are gonna be days where both of us'll wish we were a regular couple with regular problems. But I wouldn't change what you are – what we are – for anything. I'm miserable without you, Jess. You keep saying you want me to find someone who can make me happy, someone who can give me what I want. Well I've already found her. And it's not right for you to tell me otherwise."

Before she could respond, he gave her the kiss he had waited weeks to give her. She responded in kind, but pulled away before they reached a point of no return. She still had more to say.

"Hoyt, wait…" she started. He groaned, sick of hearing her empty reasons. "Just listen. You need to realize what this all means."

He sat back and nodded for her to go on, though he clearly didn't want to listen.

"Even if we stay together and get married and do all of that, we can never have a family. I can't have babies."

Hoyt scoffed. "I don't care about that…"

"But I do!" she exclaimed. "And sooner or later you will too. I want to have a house with a fence and a backyard full of little Fortenberrys. I want a life with you, and it kills me that I can never give us that."

"So we'll adopt!"

"A human and a vampire? Yeah that'll look great on an application. What person in their right mind would give up their baby to someone like me?"

"Hey. Any kid would be lucky to have you as their mother."

She smiled weakly at the compliment.

"Look," he said, "I've thought about all of this. It ain't gonna be easy, but all it comes down to is deciding that we want to be together and just…being together! Now tell me, do you want to be with me?"

"Of course I do, more than anything."

"And I want to be with you. So that's that."

She felt a tear or two slide down her cheek, in awe of just how lucky she was to have him. They shared a sweet kiss full of love, silently realizing just how badly they missed each other.

"I'm proud to be your boyfriend. You're a vampire and you're all mine. And I'm your human. All I want is to stay up all night and sleep all day with you until we're old and crusty."

Jessica laughed and kissed him again, but only a moment passed before his words truly registered with her. Growing old together, it was the simplest part of what they wanted, so simple it hadn't even dawned on her that it was the one thing that was truly impossible. Hoyt watched as Jessica's face slowly fell. She pulled away from him, deeply distressed.

"What is it?"

"But that'll never happen." She said, almost to herself. Hoyt thought she was trying to break up with him again, but before he could voice his protest she went on.

"We can't grow old together, Hoyt. I'm stuck like this forever. We say we want to spend the rest of our lives together, but really...it's just yours. I'll be 17 for the rest of eternity."

Hoyt couldn't think of anything to say.

"Did you forget about that part?" Jessica asked more curtly than she intended.

"No…" she shot him a look of skepticism. "I guess, yeah," he conceded. "So… what? Are you gonna get rid of me when I look old enough to be your grandpa?"

They laughed a little despite themselves. But Jessica was in no mood for jokes as the reality of the situation was now hitting her more than ever before.

"I'll never get rid of you, I promise…but what am I supposed to do when you…" she turned to him with tears in her eyes, "when you're gone?"

Hoyt pulled her close to him, hushing her as she wept. Neither had expected to face this much of their future tonight. They had barely gotten back together and here they were, already discussing the prospect of when death did them part. It was a lot to take in, but it was important to Jessica that they understand every aspect of what their life together could be, or rather what it couldn't.

"Listen," Hoyt purred, adjusting himself so they were looking at each other but still only inches apart, "All that matters is that I'm here now, and I will be for as long as I possibly can. And I don't want to waste another minute thinking about everything that could split us up 'cause we've spent too much time apart as it is."

Jessica looked away and sat up.

"Look at me," he said. She did. "I love you. Now I don't know how many more times I have to say it for you to believe it but you and me…we're supposed to be together. And it's time you stopped trying to fight it."

Jessica stared at him for a moment, finally accepting how badly she wanted him, how badly she needed him. It was the choice of sharing at least one lifetime with the man she loved or risk facing an eternity of regret and loneliness. And as Hoyt looked to her desperate and exhausted with hope, she realized this was no choice at all.

Without a word, she kissed him with a passion only he could stir from her. After several moments of reintroduction to each others senses, she pulled away slightly to begin removing his shirt as he began to do the same to hers.

"I love you. I love you so damn much." She panted, grinning. His face mirrored hers. They knew where this was going and were eager to get there. The immediate future was the only one they cared about and the only one they needed to care about. Whatever happened 10 years down the road didn't make any more difference than what happened 10 days down the road. All that mattered now was that they were together again and planned on staying that way forever, however long that proved to be.


End file.
